you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize