I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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