It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
