I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
