I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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