"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
