you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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