Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
