I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
this will be a night to untag.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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