I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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