The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
