i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Damn victory sex feels great
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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