so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
