Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
