Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
