Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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