I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
