would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
