Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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