And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
