but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
