NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
