What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Two words: blizzard sex
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