Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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