Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
