Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
we're so committed to being not committed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
