Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize