Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
