ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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