I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Couch. On fire.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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