His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize