The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
