i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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