Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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