I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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