i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
