plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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