I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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