Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
