i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
