so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
