So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
a search helicopter?!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
