weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize