dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize