I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
