my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
