If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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