i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
