well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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