I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize