but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
