Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
