you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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