I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
