Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
