dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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