where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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