i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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