omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
