Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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