Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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