I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
