Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize