So drunk its hurt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
