I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize