that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
