Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
