the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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