Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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