wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
