What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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