so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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