I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize