Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize