She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
