Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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