I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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