Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
