She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
