But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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