I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
